On Boys and Babies

Well, here I am about to admit something to the whole world that I cannot quite admit to myself. Therefore, I will attempt to do this locigally and as free the emotion that I am currently feeling as I can.

First order of business - babies. I have maintained a for a while that babies are non-human. They are just these alien-like things that come out of a woman's body. Luckily, not through their chest. These babliens smell, they cry, they get fussy, and they keep you up at night and cause arguments about who will change the dirty diaper. They come with amajor financial set back and some ritual called a "baby shower" where the mother gets pink things if the baby is a girl and blue things if it is a boy. And then somewhere along the line, they grow and change into real people. That process requires lots of yelling at the kids while trying to teach them how to become true humans. However, there was a time when I held babies and cared for them, but I grew out of that. And now, for some wierd reason, I look at pictures of my niece and can't help but feel love for this little girl. I think howcute she looks, and sometimes even the "awh" sigh comes out, I just hope that no one hears me. So deep down I love kids and want some of my own someday, but I will still be as removed and unemotional as I can. It is hard, I have the anatomy of a female and a very cute niece. We will just see how it goes.

Number two on the list -guy-girl relationships. I have a very good friend that I love to hang out with and talk with. He is a gentleman in every sense of the word, and as he has told me, I am very self sufficient girl. He never fails to open the car door for me and he will help me across the ice so that I don't fall. He opens doors for me (unless I open them first) and always makes sure that I am comfortable. I flew in to Denver on saturday and I had no idea how heavy my suitcase was until I pulled if off the baggage carousel at DIA. I never would have thought that I would appreciate these actions as much as I do. He does things for me that I could easily do for myself. I have just been used to doing these things myself for so long that I do forget that he likes to do those things for me. Plus I am not going to be one of those girls that requires that, that just seems to girly and cheesy. I am not above asking for help from men, especially when the trash needs to be taken out or I need to get something off the top shelf. So, in conclusion, even though I can get along just fine by myself, it certainly feels good to have someone do them for you because they want to.

Okay, now that I got that over with, I will stop and continue on my merry way. No more talk of cute babies or extremely nice things that mean more on the inside than the outside. I am going to go back being my aloof and unemotional self. Crying because you are happy is unacceptable and crying because you are sad is a form of weekness. But believe me, I have my weeknesses. Have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy spending time with your family.

Christmas Thoughts

So I find myself home on Christmas Eve, just the place I want to be. However, this Christmas feels a little different. The holiday season has felt different for the past two years simply because I come from college (an independent environment) to a place where people care when you are going to be home. This and the fact that you are now a guest in the home you grew up in, makes for some different feelings. However, this year feels even more different. My younger sister now has her driver's license and boy problems. Two things that I am completely unequipt to deal with. Also, my uncle is coming with his 8,000 children. Don't get me wrong, I am happy and excited for them to come, I have just become so removed from children to past few years to the part that they almost scare me (not kidding!!).
Yet, there are still more differences this year that deal mostly with me. This year, I find myself wishing and hoping that certain people will like their gifts. Almost to the point where I get frustrated and angry because everything has to be perfect for them. This is a completely new experience for me. I know, deep down (somewhere) that they will enjoy what ever I get for them, or even just the time I spend with them, but still, it has to be perfect. I lay up at night searching my mind for just the perfect gift. Luckily these people are not immediate family and so, I will not be feeling their wrath come Christmas Day - that shall come later.

Finalling

This is the time of year where I go crazy. Hopefully I will survive and update this if I am not dead or a vegetable in two weeks.