A Romantic, What?

So it has been quite a while since I have updated. And quite frankly, nothing much has changed. BYU is still the same with the purpose still dating. The other day my home teacher asks, "Who was that guy I saw you talking to on campus?" My reply included, a friend, he has a girlfriend, to which the subject was dropped quickly. No sense in talking about him if he has a girlfriend, right?

Well, I might as well go out and admit something. All my life I have said that dating is stupid and that marriage has a point, just later in life. I have also maintained that swooning over a guy is retarded and that simply enjoy a guy's company is just the same as your roommate's. I express these thoughts to hide the real me. The romantic. It would be nice to have someone around that is going to be there and that you can count on being your friend. Simply just sitting next to him or holding his hand is nice and it is a sad day when that is taken away. Also for the whole marriage thing, as young and naive as I may be, it would be great if I were to wake up every morning and know that the person beside me loves me fully and I love him. It would be nice to just have one person that you can count on always to be there and to love you back.

Okay, now that I have realized what I have done, I will go back to being my normal self. The un-romantic girl that does not like babies. Or children for that matter (odd, since I want kids someday of my own). Flirting is fun and I can do it without any consequences because no guy will get the wrong impression cause he won't like me back. (PS If my eternal companion is somehow reading this [unlikely], please refer to the paragraph above). Therefore, I will have fun while I can, until the shackles of marriage get to me. Just a reminder - the paragraph above are my true thoughts, these are just my guards so that I won't ever get hurt. And the right one will come as a surprise, a very, very good surprise. These guards have worked for me thus far and they have not turned traitor. This is due largely to the fact that they get great benefits (optical, oral, and even sports-medicine!).

I write this not to admit that I am jealous of those in a true relationship (dating or marriage), or to make fun of them. I am just finally admitting that it is hard to be a single woman in the largest dating factory in the world. Again, I know that I am only twenty, but I figured I might as well admit the facts.

Disclaimer: If this somehow becomes known around the world, I will have to hurt anyone that spreads it. Granted, I did admit myself over the internet, but the purpose was not to vent or to be made fun of (though I am okay with that).