Are You Engaged Yet?

My wonderful mother and I had a long conversation last night. The only subject touched on was boys and my current dating status. Nothing about school, nothing about my family, friends or roommates, and nothing about my tennis game. She only wanted to know if I was close at all to getting hitched, which for the record is no. What is it about mothers that just want their daughters to get married? I understand the father's point of view - one less person to pay for, no longer having to deal with her shopping habits (which my are small compared to most, and I am easy to shop for. Anything works as long as it is pink). Not having to deal with another PMS-ing woman in the house or a flat tire or trying to convince the female that the oil does need to be changed every now and then (why, exactly?). Though, I also seem to think that some fathers are sad to see their girls go, though most won't admit it. Before, Dad used to be the one male they would go to if their upper-body strength was lacking or if they needed un-female advice (which can be a VERY good thing), but once she gets wed, Dad is not the number one man anymore. Of course, this is supposed to happen, but I imagine that it could be hard. Also, there is always the fear that the "perfect" man may not be so perfect and heartbreak (or possibly broken arms) could be in the future. However, even though the father may feel these things, I think he would be the last one to admit it.

Mothers, on the other hand just want their kids to be close. This is precisely why I am going to live someplace cold so that my beach-addicted mother will only visit on occasion (just kidding, she is not REALLY addicted to beaches!). A mother wants her kids to be happy, but happy with the man that she picks out and happy living and raising her grandchildren like she wants them to be raised. It must be hard to boss your kids around for their whole life and then suddenly, bam!, your advice is only wanted when needed. I really think that mothers are more attached to their children then fathers. This is due to the whole thing that men and women are wired differently. Mothers still wish to be a main figure of importance in their children's lives, and it is difficult for them to grow apart. This has to happen, but mothers don't worry. Children still value your opinion and will still come to you when a recipe goes terribly wrong, or they spill wine on their white table cloth.

All in all, every party involved in the whole marriage thing was advance warning. Unless the child elopes, there is meeting the in-laws and careful planning of a wedding (with the mother doing the most work, of course). So this separation of parent and child does not come as a surprise, but it may still be a sad day. One may say that it is a very happy day, which, of course, it is, but once you realize that their questions will be directed to their spouse and not you, you may get teary eyed for a minute, but then realize that you have three children still at home to terrorize.

I would like to end this post saying that I am very grateful for my parents. They put up with me and still give me advice without my asking. They are kind and caring and want me to succeed in life, not just in marriage. Oh, and for the record, after the terrorizing, homemade chocolate chip cookies were given out to the child with the most fear. So, I love you Mom and Dad (and step-mom and -dad) and keep up the good work. And remember, there are still more after me, so just because you may fail to marry me off, I am sure you will succeed with the younger ones. :)